Hail Life?

Life has constantly been changing for ever. And now I realise that we are nothing more than a piece of wood drifting along a journey called life. Sometimes you get caught in a branch or dock at a rock and form a certain bond with your surroundings and other pieces of wood around. Some of them stale, some of them precious. It may take any amount of time for one to realise if where you are, or what you do is good or bad. But nevertheless as the journey progresses it leaves you etched with character.

I have finally let go of it…had to do it. Evaluated the priorities of my life and finally took this call. At times I’m repenting my decision whereas at times I’m thinking, it was just another opportunity… what is there in a missed opportunity ?

 

Yes, it was a very lucrative one, something which is hard to come by, something that is not easy to deny, something which makes you feel really nice and special, but still I decided to let it go in a hope to fulfill some larger objectives of my life. Those objectives after which I’m running for more than an year now but with no result! Those objectives which have made me miss opportunities that I may live to regret for the rest of my life but still I wanted to run after this one as somewhere down the line I believed it would make up for everything i loose along the way. But lately some doubts have crept in in this wall of faith .

I’ve no idea if I’m doing right or wrong, no idea if I will ever get lucky enough to find anything similar to this again but still I’m giving it up with a hope that my decisions will prove to be right someday & things will turn out better. “Hope for better” is all I should think of in such a state of mind. Yes I’m apprehensive, anxious, worried, confused, depressed, feeling low & negative too…you heard it right; I’m feeling negative and not positive towards things right now! I’m not sure how am I supposed to feel optimistic about life when despite all my efforts, things are just not turning the right way for years now. And for a change I don’t wanna follow the bandwagon of “pseudo-optimism”. I want to accept my real feelings and the realities the way they are right now.

Ok, so let me ask you a simple question !!

You all must have read Robert Frost's 'The road not taken'.  He talks about a point in life when you are at a crossroad. You see two paths in front of you, one which is tried and tested by many and one which is deserted and not travelled upon. It's easier to know what is right and wrong in a situation like this, you know for a fact that the less-walked on path will for sure set you for greater acheivement in the long run even if it means a few hiccups initially. But what if i modify the script a little? What if the crossroad now has two different kinds of paths, one which your heart tells you to follow and the other which your mind pegs you to !!

None of the two are right or wrong, none of them is evil or holy, none of them is easy to choose. You know that each of these paths has it merits and demerits, each of it would help you gain something but make you loose something else ,each of it is hard to let go. So how would you decide which one could prove to be a graver loss? how would you choose which path will not make you regret more ??

Difficult , did i hear to say?  Welcome to my world or to everyone's world so to say. If you think you haven't faced a situation like this, it's just that it wasn't that important an instant to register in your mind, wait.. and i am sure you'll get your's in due time.

Recently phases in my life have also made me more & more contemplative towards so many other things. "Be positive! Optimistic raho toh sab theek ho jayega! Don’t regret! Always look on the brighter side of life! Be cheerful alwayz , don't let your feelings bow you down, don't let people realise that you are faking that smile, that deep down you are not as happy go lucky as you may appear, that you too have inhibitions and desires and selfishness."  Does it really work ??

At times don't we all feel the need to have someone who knows when you are not holding up that strongly as you appear to be, who knows that behind all that glitter is a heart that needs some respite. When past starts to haunt you, places in history and their memories haunt you, people and those moments you spent with them haunt you, love haunts you..... and that's when you start to realise, some things even God can't answer, for he made human as competent as he could but none of his creations are perfect and so is life!!

PS: The post might look a bit inconsistent in terms of content which appears to be a mix of unrelated queries but on the inside everything is infact  quite well intermingled.