Technically I haven't started my first job yet, but I'm doing an internship at a startup which is practically the closest you can come to feel like doing a full time job without actually getting paid likewise. Lucky me.
Here are 8 things which I feel only your first job teaches you. I'll try and be as less specific as possible.
1. You know NOTHING. Remember how you ended college on a high? Getting your fancy job, with a fancy GPA, your ground breaking research projects? What you did in college is as close to what you'll be doing at your job as I am to becoming 7 feet tall. So before you join, step down from your throne of I've-had-it-all (take that Adele), drain your brains out and take it as a new school where you've come to learn. YET AGAIN.
2. Deadlines in college and deadlines at work are like two sides of a coin, no actually, they are like TWO WHOLE DIFFERENT COINS. You bragged about how you did the semester project just a night before it was due? Try doing that at work and no one fist bumps you and say "YOU SO COOL BRO". In fact, the only fist that'll come your way will be directed at a body part that-must-not-be-named.
3. Software developers hate MBAs. To them the only thing a management school teaches you is to draft excel sheets faster than the HAL 9000. With their lavish suits, expensive aftershaves and gelled up hair, they are the male bimbos of software development. If you ever planned on doing a Management degree after graduation, work for an year as a developer and ten years down the line(or twenty) you'll tell your(or your friend's) kids how crazy you were to think you wanted to wear swanky ties to work everyday.
4. What weekends mean. Yes, you think you know what a busy week feels like, "I've had enough of them as a student." Trust me you don't. You've heard Monday morning blues but you never really have them until you start working. A Monday test in school or a lab viva in College is NOTHING compared to the prospect of starting a whole new week at work. The Friday evening rush in your heart as you leave office(I leave at 8 on SATURDAY) is like attaining Nirvana and every Sunday night feels like the end of summer vacations.
5. There is NOTHING worth sacrificing your sleep over. Yes, unnecessary all-nighters where you watch the entire season of a sitcom or a movie trilogy, were hip back in college. Out in the real world, there is no "meri proxy laga dena" the next morning. Unless you want to be seen drooling over your keyboard while the sexy girl from HR walks past your desk, sleep on time. PS: The only one who ever looked good while drooling is Katrina Kaif in the slice advert.
6. Speaking of sleep, by the first month of work you will know the EXACT time you need to wake up so you reach office on time. If it is 7:41 am, it is 7:41 am. A minute early and you'll be groggy and cursing yourself all day for not getting enough sleep, if it's 7:42 am you'll be too late to brush or bathe or remembering you haven't put your pants back on before leaving your place.
8. Salary. Remember planning out in college how you'll spend the shit load of money you'll suddenly start making and how the earth will revolve around you once you start earning? Sadly it doesn't work that way. For one, we conveniently leave one little detail: our college life is a fully sponsored vacation of 4 years from our parents as a gift for making them work so hard for all these years to make us who we are. So once you start working, it should feel right to NOT use the debit card of the account your dad funds money in and start using the one in which you do. Do that and suddenly the earth WILL start revolving around you, only in the opposite direction. You'll realize what expenses mean, what it feels like to give half your salary for a roof you live under or the 50 bucks for a 1 Km auto ride.
9. Attention from the opposite gender. If you thought a high paying job will get you attention and suddenly every other flaw you had will be overshadowed in a pool of Gandhi pics, you my friend need a shrink. I'm not even going into how shallow that mindset is, all I'm saying is: You don't have much of a life to meet someone new outside of work. At work, the only women in office who don't already have an affair with your boss or have a husband IN THE SAME OFFICE are the ones who earn more than you, so going by your own thinking you are left drowning in your own soup, single and still just as miserable.
I'm pretty sure there must be more but it's way past my bedtime tonight and I feel I have this connection with the HR girl so I don't want to take any chances.
I can relate to every bit of this note! aah! the gloom is never ending.
ReplyDeleteWell written once again!
(though i wish i hadn't read this on a Sunday night cuz it reminded me there is INDEED one whole week ahead of me in just few hours!!)
Thank you once again!
ReplyDeleteMy week extends up till Saturday so I'm way worse :(