Anyhow Diwali, festival of lights! It’s not too hard to know that Diwali is round the corner (EDIT: This was supposed to be published a week before) and there are some very obvious signs all around to help us guess that:
Are you on facebook? What am I asking, unless you are a newborn (who btw might also have an account created by his parents for the sheer fear of running out of fb ids with their child’s name) or an alien(assuming something EPIC needs to happen if this ‘doomsday’ story is to stand out, I’m placing my bets on Aliens attacking Earth) or living in Brazil (apparently people there are still stuck with Orkut, I might have to consider changing my retirement plans of settling down in Rio after all), you MUST have a fb account.
Alright now that we have established that you do, you surely must have been tagged by at least a dozen of those really heartfelt Diwali pictures symbolizing Goddess Laxmi, or Lord Ganesh (reused from the recently concluded Ganesh Chaturthi) or a candles or firecrackers or diyas or a really sexy chick titled ‘Patakha’ by that one pervert of a friend who embarrasses you in front of the ladies but is the only reason you still open your fb account, ok that might not be true for all. So what do you do? You comment your mandatory thankings/wishings and wait for a while before untagging yourself and asking forgiveness from the respective God/Goddess.
If you live at home, you’ll wake up every day not to the sound of your alarm but that of the vacuum cleaner. Also if you are a boy, you are automatically assured that the attic, where even spiders shudder to visit and no homo-sapient has dared foot since you were attacked by lizards same day last year, is your responsibility to clean.
And when you’re finally done and dusted in every true sense, you are challenged this one-time every year to prove your worth as an Engineer, yes, you guessed it right, the Diwali lights. Now irrespective of the fact that you are a software engineer who writes codes or a chemical engineer who makes chemicals(frankly I’m not really sure what they do), if you can’t repair last year’s Diwali lights or that hair dryer or anything that has wires or uses electricity, it is assumed that you have failed as an Engineer and should have been bought a shop to sit around. Speaking of Diwali lights, you are supposed to make way with whatever number of them you have and make them shine brighter than your neighbors’. This is really important.
After all this you are probably too tired to do anything else so you sit back and look at what’s new in the world but guess what, the only thing that the newspapers will tell you is that the Cadbury’s Celebration pack that has helped you rest your spatial repertoire for the past decade when it comes to gifts during festivals is finally out of trend and this totally new Chinese ‘Sandwich Maker’ which comes with a free mobile handset from a company named after a really famous breed of dogs and supposedly priced double than the sandwich maker itself, is the perfect replacement for those chocolates.
Having said all that, it’s really important to know that Diwali is still probably the only time of the year you get to meet people you cherish (or avoid, whatever) and your one-time only free pass to eat all those delicious sweets gifted to you, claiming to be made from ‘100% pure butter oil’ but specifically not mentioning the animal whose milk was used to prepare the butter (I hear it makes a two-pitched ‘hee-haw’ sound). I’m taking the liberty to assume that you haven’t actually planned to use these sweets as gifts for someone else, in which case you are totally my idol. Happy Diwali people! Cheers.
Always a delight to read ur blogs! looking forward to the next one already :)
ReplyDeleteThank you :) Hopefully this will help me be more regular here!
ReplyDeleteSatire : When you say things just to sound funny.. ;)
ReplyDeleteits pretty cool buddy!